


down to the water

by carleton97



Series: +44 [2]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-11
Updated: 2010-04-11
Packaged: 2017-10-13 04:11:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carleton97/pseuds/carleton97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things were better than they were a month ago, hell, a week ago, but that wasn't saying much. A week ago, Gee was stumbling drunk on a stage in Japan and puking so much Frank had honestly been afraid she was going to die. So, while her over-caffeinated, white-faced sobriety of today was a welcome change, Frank still felt like they were all on the edge of disaster, that everything they'd worked so hard for could still collapse around them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was so _loud_.

God, why was it so loud? And _bright_. There was some sort of glare from fuck knows where burning directly into her brain.

Gee moaned quietly as the noise around her swelled and she felt the vibration of her own voice drive needles into her eyeballs. She wanted to put her hands over her ears, but she was pretty sure if she moved that much she'd either fall over or puke in Ray's lap.

Hi, Ray's lap.

Fuck, why was she sitting up? She would punch someone if she could lie down and sleep.

Or have a drink.

Vodka and some Xanax would be so awesome right now.

"Shhhhh," someone whispered close to her ear.

No, wait. She wasn't doing that anymore. Shit like that led to losing her fucking pants on stage or calling Brian out of her head on coke or getting absolutely annihilated with Bert in every venue they played. She was done with that. She'd decided. Donedonedone.

She didn't like to think about all that, but couldn't stop the parade of memories marching through her head. She didn't understand how Fr-- anyone could stand to even look at her.

A big hand rubbed against her back. "We love you, even when you're a jerkface."

Gee pressed her face into Ray's shoulder, trying not to cry in public. They were all too good to her. She didn't deserve Mikey or Ray or Frankie.

Bony fingers poked the soft skin under her ribs in what she knew was Mikey-code for _shut your stupid face_.

She wanted Frank. Where was he? He'd been trying to keep her hair out of her puke just a second ago. No, longer than a second because that was the hotel and this was the airport.

They were in the airport now. She knew that. Ray told her that. Told her she had to keep it together until they were in the air. No place to stop over the ocean, right?

Keep it together. Keep it together. Keep it together.

Another wave of sound crested over her and Gee clenched her hands into sweaty, gross fists until it passed. When she could move without dying she wiped them on her filthy jeans.

Sweet Jesus.

She could smell herself over the general funk of the airport and it nearly turned her stomach. Old booze and sweat and sickness was oozing out of her pores and, for a second, her vision wavered and an army of yellow-green ants were crawling out of her skin and onto the ground.

Hysteria rose in her throat -- bugs! holy fuck! -- but she choked it back when Ray's arm brushed against hers without disturbing the ants or him freaking the hell out.

A hallucination. She was actually hallucinating. Jesus. What the fuck had she done to herself?

 

Keep it together.

Right.

***

It wasn't that Frank was avoiding Gee, he was just fascinated, watching the crew set up for the scene in the library. And if he happened to find something extremely urgent to do somewhere else as soon as Gee came within fifty feet of him, well, that was just a coincidence.

Not that Gee was going out of her way to try to find him or anything. Frank thought she might be trying to avoid him too, but that was probably overestimating his importance to her. After all, he was just the rhythm guitarist.

Frank kicked absently at one of the desks in the empty classroom, sighing moodily.

Sure, he wasn't another _lead singer_ like some girlfriend-stealing jerks he could mention, but he knew he owned on stage. For all the good it did him the past few months. He just didn't know how they ended up like this, hiding from each other and shooting a video without an official drummer.

Not that Bob wasn't an awesome guy -- he was -- but the fucking terrifying fact was, they'd never really seen him play drums.

Brian kept saying it was all under control, it was all cool, but Brian was also chainsmoking and jittering like a... not like a junkie. Jesus. Frank couldn't even say that word in his head without feeling like the entire world was about to come crashing down around him. Not even now that Gee was clean and sober. (Please God, let her stay clean and sober.)

Things were better than they were a month ago, hell, a week ago, but that wasn't saying much. A week ago, Gee was stumbling drunk on a stage in Japan and puking so much Frank had honestly been afraid she was going to die. So, while her over-caffeinated, white-faced sobriety of today was a welcome change, Frank still felt like they were all on the edge of disaster, that everything they'd worked so hard for could still collapse around them.

"Frank, there you are. We're ready to start shooting in the library. Find Mikey and get both your asses moving." Brian was holding a Starbuck's cup in one hand and a cigarette in the other, somehow balancing a clipboard at the same time.

Frank stole the Starbuck's cup out of Brian's hand and took a healthy swig. "Jesus fuck," he swore, staring at the cup in horror. "What the hell is that? Is that hazelnut? Since when do you drink that girly sh-- oh."

Brian rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's Gee's refill."

"Oops." Frank tried to hand the cup back to Brian, but the clipboard had quickly taken its place.

"Nope, you take it to her." Brian's voice was distracted, but the look in his eyes was implacable.

Well, shit.

Frank trudged towards the library, dragging his feet as much as he thought he could get away with. Luckily he ran into Bob, literally, as he turned a corner. "Bob, my friend! Do me a favor and take this to Gee, okay?" Frank shoved the cup into Bob's hands and took off running down the hall. "Thanks, Bob!"

The thought of just running right out the front doors of the high school and not stopping until he reached Jersey was _really_ fucking tempting. Frank dodged a couple of crewmembers and turned down the long hallway to the front door, finally slowing to a stop halfway down the hall. Fuck. He couldn't do it. Not when he'd stuck it out through _so_ much shit and they were almost, maybe, going to be okay as a band.

A gangly pair of legs sticking out from underneath a folding table drew his eyes. Frank kicked at the soles of a familiar scuffed pair of black Chucks. "Hey," he said, "they need us in the library, Mikes."

Mikey flailed a little, kicking at Frank's legs, and then rolled out from underneath the folding table. "Stop kicking me, dude. I'm coming."

Frank wandered back towards the library, Mikey trailing behind him. "What the hell were you doing under a table, anyway?" he asked.

Mikey shrugged.

Frank looked at him, but didn't possess the secret Mikey-soothsaying powers that Gee did so all he saw was a too-skinny kid wearing glasses. Frank huffed a little and pushed open the door to the library, trying to get his head back into the game.

Everyone was waiting on him and Mikey and Frank slunk into the seat a PA pointed at. Gee was practically vibrating in her chair, a death grip on the coffee Bob must have brought to her. His eyes still went to her automatically and he watched her drain the dregs of her coffee as the director started to call everything to order. She looked around the room, avoiding his eyes, trying to find somewhere out of the shot to set her empty cup, and Bob darted forward from wherever he was tucked out of the way to solicitously pluck it from her hand.

Marc Webb, the director, cued the song and Gee sang about thirty seconds of refrain. Cut. Adjust the lighting or whatever. Cue the song. Thirty seconds of refrain. Cut. Repeat. They'd only been at it for five minutes and Frank was about to climb out of his skin with boredom and tension.

The prep school jacket was hot and scratchy. Frank twitched, trying to scratch his back subtly against the back of the chair without ruining the shot. Marc called cut and Frank took the opportunity to scratch the hell out of his back. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gee watching him. Frank twitched again, trying not to show that he knew that she was watching him. What was she doing? Why was she watching him? Frank was going to lose his fucking mind.

Two more takes with Gee's voice loud in the small room, the second stopped when one of the waltzing teens tripped over her own feet. Frank bounced his knee and tried not to chew on his fingernails as there was some small conference behind one of the cameras. His back was itching _again_ and he was about ready to crawl out of his skin. Heavy hands dropped on his shoulders and he made a little noise he refused to call a squeak.

"You need to settle the fuck down." Bob scratched a short path between his shoulder blades. "Brian is about ready to hogtie you."

"Bob, you're my favorite Bob, have I ever told you that?" Frank babbled. He leaned from one side to the other, encouraging Bob to continue scratching his back.

Bob snorted, his eyes glinting with what Frank was fairly sure was amusement, though with Bob it was sometimes hard to tell. "A few times."

"A good Bob is hard to find." Frank waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Or is it 'a hard Bob is--'"

Bob smacked him lightly across the back of the head. "Settle down, Iero."

Frank flopped against the back of the chair, trapping Bob's hand behind him. He tipped his head back to rest in the curve of Bob's elbow for a second before sitting up straight. "Okay, okay. I'm settled."

"Thank God for that," Ray said, not being mean about it or anything.

Frank still flipped him off, though. "No, thank Bob," he said earnestly.

Ray laughed, but Gee and Mikey could have been sitting in an entirely different room for all they reacted to the conversation happening right next to them. Frank sighed and controlled a strong impulse to jump on the table and do a jig just to see if it'd get a response from Gee. It was tempting, but Brian? Would kill him. Slow.

They were called to order again and Frank tried to force himself into the mindset of an angry, angst-ridden teenager. Unsurprisingly, it came fairly easy to him and he had to remind himself not to stare longingly at Gee and beg her to talk to him, to let him know what was going on in her head.

It was fairly obvious to him she'd made whatever decision she'd been talking about when they'd been waiting in the Tokyo airport last week.

The flight back from Japan had been one of the worst day/nights of Frank's life so far. Gee had been alternately hyper-talkative and completely withdrawn, and he hadn't been able to follow even half of her rambling. He wasn't even sure she'd known she was talking out loud, but some of the stuff she'd said had been about making a decision and being done. Though he still wasn't 100% sure of what she'd meant, her showing up for the video filming clean and sober was something that would have been unimaginable a few days ago.

Her basically ignoring him was also something he never could have imagined. He'd been there for her every step of the way, even when she was doing _whatever_ with Bert. It didn't matter to him she hadn't done more than drunkenly kiss him in months, he thought she... valued him more than that, but it wouldn't be the first time he'd been wrong about what the fuck she was thinking.

Frank sighed, slouching in his chair. He was pretty sure he was giving his best performance ever as "angsty, emo teenager." Too bad it wasn't really acting.

"Cut! Okay, guys, that's a wrap for this scene," Marc said. "Band members, take a half-hour break while we set up to shoot outside. Meet back in the lunch room in thirty."

Frank shot out of his chair like a cannon. Jesus fucking _Christ_ , he needed a cigarette.

Down a side hallway from the library, Frank had scoped out a little courtyard that'd be good to hide in while grabbing a smoke. It was habit from his years of ducking teachers in high school when he wanted an illicit cigarette. Who knew being a juvenile delinquent would come in so handy later in life?

Bob was already there, crouching in the small square of shade with a smoke hanging out of the corner of his mouth. "What's up?"

Frank slid down the wall and sprawled out next to Bob. "Can I bum a smoke?" He had half a pack in his pocket, but it was just too much effort to drag them out at this point.

Bob shook out a cigarette and offered it to Frank before fishing the lighter out of his hoodie pocket and flicking it on. "How's the shoot?"

Frank leaned forward to light his cigarette off the lighter that Bob held. It was stupid, but Frank felt his heart drop to his toes because it reminded him of all the times he'd held his lighter for Gee. She'd ribbed him about his "chivalry," and though it was true that Frank had been brought up to be polite and respectful to women, Gee somehow never noticed that she was the only girl whose cigarettes he lit. He'd actually _carried her over a puddle_ at one point, and Gee had just laughed and thought he'd been acting deliberately silly.

God, this sucked.

Frank sighed and answered Bob's question, "Marc seems happy enough. They're going to try to convince Schechter to put on the mascot costume when we film that part."

The corners of Bob's eyes crinkled as he choked out a laugh. "No fucking way."

Frank felt an answering smile trying to twist his mouth. "It's made for a teenage girl. He's the only one it'd fit besides me."

Bob scrubbed his hand through his buzzed hair. "Yeah, I'll leave that explanation up to you."

Frank snorted. "Come on, how could he pass up the opportunity to be a big video star? Speaking of, you ready for the big time?"

Bob looked grim. Fortunately, Frank had known him for long enough to know that Bob looking grim was cover for Bob being nervous or worried. "Yeah, no problem. I've been practicing," he said, gesturing at the drumsticks and iPod lying on the ground next to him.

Frank bumped his shoulder against Bob. "You'll be fine. You're Super Bob, after all."

"Fuck that Kryptonian punk." Bob shot him the bird, but Frank could see a little pink creeping up the back of his neck and considered it a job well done.

He finished off his smoke and thought about having another, but figured someone would be looking for him soon, if they weren't already.

Back to his own personal hell, then.

He heaved a big sigh and used Bob's shoulder to lever himself up. "Alright, I've got to get back, I'm sure."

Bob gave him an offhanded salute and pulled his iPod closer before hesitating. "Hey, Frank?"

"Yeah?"

"You, uh, you seem..." Bob chewed on his lip ring for a second. "You can totally tell me to fuck off if I'm overstepping or something, but you seem... not, uh, okay."

Frank kicked at the edge of an uneven paving block. "I'm fine. I'm super, in fact."

Bob gave him the look that Frank had privately dubbed _Bob Bryar does not have time for your bullshit._ "Super," he repeated neutrally.

"Yeah, sure. Super. In fact, I'm so fucking super that apparently I've turned invisible."

"Oh." Bob's face cleared. "No, not invisible. Just...out of rhythm."

"What the fuck?"

Bob pulled his headphones back into place. "You're a half-beat off, man. Fix that shit."

Frank kicked at Bob's feet when he turned his music back on and picked up his sticks. Stupid drummer analogies.

 

Frank turned the thought over in his head as he walked back toward the lunch room where they'd been told to gather. A half beat off. Okay, so if he was a half beat off on stage (which he would never be for real -- fuck Otter, that shit had _always_ been him fucking up), what would he do to get back on rhythm?

The answer to that was obvious. He'd listen to the rest of his band and follow their rhythm.

Huh. Okay, he'd try it. Bob was pretty smart about this shit, after all.

When he sat back and pretended they were performing, he saw the problem right away. Ray was plugging along at tempo and was desperately looking around for someone, anyone to support him. Mikey only had eyes for Gee, doing his best to follow wherever she went. And Gee -- Gee didn't seem to have any idea that _all_ of them were floundering.

So now he knew what the problem was. How the hell was he going to fix it?

Frank saw the beginning of a plan walking down the hall in the form of a PA holding a four-pack of Starbucks cups. "Hey, those for the band?" Frank asked, trotting to catch up with the PA.

"Yep, extras get their own," she said briskly, then turned red as she obviously recognized him. "Oh! Mr. Iero--"

 

"Call me Frank," he interrupted with his most charming smile. "Hey, do you mind if I grab these from you? I can just bring them straight to where we're shooting the next scene. Which one goes to who?"

Armed with coffee, Frank proceeded to step number one of The Plan: get on Gee's good side with offerings of caffeine and sugar.

He pushed one of the large cups into Ray's hands and leaned against him for a second, trying to force himself back into synch with him. He wasn't sure how successful he was, but Ray was not-quite-smiling at him when he pushed off his back.

Mikey was sitting two tables over from Gee, but he might as well have been sitting on her lap for all the attention he was paying to the rest of the room.

"Hey, Mikes." Frank set another coffee on the table. "You doing okay?"

Mikey shrugged and popped the lid off his coffee and sniffed it before taking a drink. "Been worse."

Frank snorted. "No kidding." He hopped up on the table and put one of his feet up on Mikey's leg. He tapped out a few measures of a slow 1-2-3-4 before sliding back to the ground and pointing at Gee. "I'm going to -- "

"Yeah, okay." Mikey nodded slowly.

Gee was hunched over a pad of paper, drawing with quick, angry movements of her hand. She was holding a cigarette in her left hand and was in danger of accidentally setting her hair on fire as she leaned her head on her hand.

"Smokey the Bear says only you can prevent forest fires," Frank said, stealing the cigarette out of her hand.

Gee sighed and lit another cigarette, finally looking at him after she took her first drag. She looked fucking awful. Still gorgeous, of course -- Frank didn't think she could ever _not_ be beautiful to him -- but pasty and pale, with deep circles under her eyes.

"I bring you gifts of caffeine," Frank said, holding out the second-to-last Starbucks cup.

Gee hesitantly took the cup from his hands, glancing at him guiltily when their fingers brushed. Frank shook his head and dropped onto the bench next to her. He grabbed her free hand when she set her cigarette on the edge of the table and kissed her palm before lacing their fingers together and kissing the back of her hand. He rested their joined hands on his lap, tightening his grip to match hers.

"You need anything, baby?"

Gee stared at him like he'd grown two heads or started voting Republican or something. "I... uh, no? Just the coffee. Coffee's good. Um." She took a hasty swallow of the coffee, then made a face. "Ugh. They screwed up my order."

Frank took a sip from his cup, wrinkling his nose at the sweet taste of cinnamon and vanilla. Gross. He loved her, but Gee's taste in coffee was _disgusting_. Cinnamon and vanilla were good in cookies and shit, not coffee. "You must have mine. Here," he said, swapping their Starbucks cups.

Gee took a careful sip, then a much longer gulp, sighing in satisfaction. "Oh my God, so fucking good."

Frank grinned, and carefully didn't mention how her reaction to coffee kind of reminded him of how she sounded after sex.

Instead, he leaned over and snuffled into the clammy skin of her neck for a second before resting his head on her shoulder. Gee stayed tense for longer than Frank would have guessed, but eventually she relaxed by degrees, slumping against him with a shuddering breath.

They stayed like that until one of the PAs called them for the next scene.

It turned out that the next scene was the thing with the picnic tables and the popular kids throwing food at Frank. Which was annoying -- Frank kind of wanted to know why _Ray_ couldn't have food thrown at him. But apparently, in the mini-movie Marc had created in his head, Frank was the rebellious yet vulnerable trickster. Which meant that Frank had to look helpless or something and look up at Gee, instead of throwing the food right back at them like he would have back in high school.

The only good thing about it was that he was sitting close to Gee but at a slightly lower level, so he got to perve over the way that her prep school skirt rode up as she sat cross-legged and showed a little tiny hint of thigh.

There was some kind of a hold-up with the equipment -- Marc and the cameraman were huddled with a few techs. "Okay guys, take ten but don't go wandering too far!" Marc said into his bullhorn. Frank coveted the bullhorn.

 

Mikey and Ray headed off to the refreshments table (a couple of big containers of Gatorade and some cookies), but Gee stayed where she was, sitting cross-legged and hunched over. Frank scooted himself up a couple of steps and plopped his head in her lap. "Hey, babe," he said, grinning at her look of surprise.

Gee smiled a little. "Hey yourself."

She looked sort of apprehensive, as if she were waiting for an axe to fall or something, but Frank figured she was just being weird and he closed his eyes, wiggling down to get comfortable. "Mmmm, you're so comfy."

Careful fingers settled on the crown of his head. "Are you calling me fat?"

There was a thread of humor in her voice that'd been absent for longer than Frank cared to think about, but he opened one eye to make sure. She was half-smiling and her eyes were glowing golden in the light. He pushed his face into the soft swell of her stomach and his voice was muffled when he said, "More cushion for the pushin'."

"Frank!" she exclaimed, but she sounded more amused than horrified, so he figured it was a win.

"Wake me up when naptime is over," he mumbled.

She snorted. "You can sleep anywhere. Remember when Otter found you sleeping in one of his crates?"

"Yeah, he wasn't too amused," Frank said, squinting up at her.

"You looked like a dog curled up in its kennel," she said, poking at Frank's forehead. Frank barked and snapped his teeth playfully at her.

Gee tapped him on the tip of his nose. "Naughty puppy! Go to sleep."

Frank mock-growled and buried his smile in her lap, another of the knots in his stomach dissolving. He let himself go boneless and was almost immediately rewarded by soft fingers running through his hair.

Frank zoned out, the feeling of sunlight on his face and Gee's fingers in his hair sending him into a kind of trance. As if from a long way off, he heard Gee whisper, "Sorry."

Frank blinked his eyes open. Gee was leaning over him, her hair curtaining her face. "For what?" he asked without thinking.

Gee laughed in that way that sounds kind of like a sob. "For a lot of things -- so many that I can't even list them off -- but right now? I'm sorry for being a bitch earlier."

Frank shook his head. "Nah, s'okay, Gee. Just glad you're talking to me again."

She made that laugh-sob noise again. "You can't just _forgive_ me like that. I did-- I was-- You don't even know all the things-- "

"Hey, hey." Frank sat up and pushed her messy hair away from her face. "I'm sure we're going to have a giant fucking fight about all that at some point, but not today. And you know what?"

Gee shook her head and twisted her hands in her lap.

"Even then we're going to be fine."

She ducked her head, chuckling quietly. "Frank Iero, tough little punk and dewy-eyed optimist."

Frank grinned and put out his fist for a fist-bump. "Stay brutal, baby."

She laughed, holding out her fist awkwardly to bump his, then turning her hand and sliding her fingers between his. They sat there quietly for a few minutes, watching the techs swarm around the malfunctioning camera.

Ray and Mikey came back from the refreshment table, holding bottles of water. Ray's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline as he noticed Gee and Frank holding hands.

He didn't say anything, though. He just shook his head and handed off his extra bottle to Frank before settling down next to him. Mikey mirrored him next to Gee, and they all watched as Marc finished whatever he was doing and clapped his hands together to get everyone back to where they needed to be for the shot.

Fortunately now that the technical difficulties were sorted out, the rest of the scene went pretty quickly. Frank bounced up to Brian after Marc declared them free for a few minutes.

"You ready for your star turn?"

Brian rolled his eyes. "I think we're gonna get one of the extras to play the mascot."

Frank did puppy-dog eyes. "Pleeeeeeease?"

"We'll see," Brian sighed. Frank pumped his fist in victory -- he knew that sigh. It was the sigh of Brian giving in. "Anyway, you and Gee need to head to the locker room for the eyelash scene."

"Right, the eyelash scene," Frank repeated, pretending that he remembered what the fuck that was.

Brian sighed again and this time it was his I-can't-believe-you-fucking-morons sigh. "Just go. Marc will go through it when you get there."

Frank shot Brian the double-barrelled finger guns. "Go get suited up, Spot."

"Yeah, yeah. Just go." Brian waved him off, but started towards the trailer where they had set up the costumes and makeup.

Frank whistled a jaunty tune as he headed towards the locker room -- though what he'd be doing in the girl's locker room or vice versa was still a fucking mystery to him.

Whatever. This would probably be, like, .5 seconds of footage. Which would take 45 minutes to shoot. But hey, at least Gee was apparently in the scene too.

Gee was in the locker room when he got there -- the _guys_ locker room, it turned out -- sitting hunched over on one of the benches by the lockers. She was doing that slumped-over-miserable pose again. Frank plopped himself down next to her, saying brightly, "Hi! I hear we're, uh, locker room buddies."

She squinted at him. "You have no idea what scene this is, do you?"

"Nope."

"Frank!" Her exasperated face was a million times better than her sad face. "We got scripts and everything from Marc. Didn't you read it at all?"

"I skimmed it." Frank made a waving gesture. "Teenage angst, teenage angst, teenage rebellion, garage band. The end."

Gee looked like she was about to expound on the great and deeper meaning of every single scene as story-boarded by Marc, but luckily the man himself interrupted.

"OK, so I feel like this scene is pivotal for the whole video. It's the turning point in your relationship even if it isn't really touched on for the remainder of the scenes. It will be there in subtext."

"Subtext?" Frank was really confused now. He thought this scene was about Mikey getting shoved into a bank of lockers.

"You almost kiss your best friend, Frank. That's huge in high school."

"Wait, but I thought there was a cheerleader and she gets mad at me for picking her eye goop." He did too read the script! Kind of.

"That was an older draft of the script," Marc said. "Here, read this page, okay?" He handed Frank a dog-eared, scribbled-on script.

Frank sighed and started reading the script. Okay, so, sitting in the locker room, dramatic music, he says "I think you have something in your eye," then... they almost kiss. Frank blinked at the script page, then looked up at Gee.

 

"Marc thinks it works with the emotional arc of our characters," she said, twisting a piece of her hair nervously.

Frank opened his mouth and "Boy, am I glad you don't hate me anymore" came out. He winced, waiting for Gee's reaction.

"I never hated you," she said, looking down. Frank thought that was all he was going to get as Marc began moving them into position, but she leaned to whisper to him before he got dragged off, "I hated me."

Huh.

Frank listened with half an ear as Marc walked him through the scene. It wasn't brain surgery they were doing here and he wasn't all that far off from his own teenage years, so he let himself think about Gee's whispered confession.

It made a surprising amount of sense, Frank thought. He'd hate himself, too, if he'd done some of the shit Gee'd done in the past couple of years.

He let himself feel the anger and disappointment for a minute before banishing it as much as he could. Gee wanted to change, had changed, and he would be doing both of them a disservice if he kept holding on to old shit.

And it wasn't like he was Zen Master Frankenstein over here -- Frank was possibly the least Zen person he'd ever met -- but he couldn't keep holding a grudge against someone he cared about to save his life.

"We need to get the light levels set," one of the techs said, herding Frank over to the free-standing bench where Gee already sat. As the tech held up a doohickey and made thoughtful noises at it, Frank slowly tilted to the side and rested his head on Gee's shoulder.

She leaned her head on his and twined their fingers together while the techs did their thing.

"Okay," Marc said, "Sit close but not too close, and try to look longing."

Frank looked at how they were wrapped around each other on the bench and shot Marc a look. "We're sort of past the longing gazes and averted eyes stage."

"No shit, Sherlock." Marc poked at Frank until he was a respectable distance from Gee. "We're acting now, though. So act. Pretend it's before you got together."

Gee made a face at that, but obviously tried to get into the right frame of mind. She had her eyes closed and there was the little wrinkle between her eyebrows that said she was thinking the hell out of something.

Frank wasn't about to be outdone by anyone, even Gee, so he tried to pretend they were back in the van, Otter snoring in the passenger seat while Ray drove. He was curled into a little ball, pretending to sleep, but really listening to Gee and Mikey whisper to each other in the row of seats behind him. They weren't talking about anything in particular, just the last show and their Mom's next birthday, but it was something so casual, so _intimate_ , and he wanted to be a part of that. He wanted to share that sort of ease with her.

When Marc called for "action", he opened his eyes.

Gee was sitting partially turned to him but with her eyes cast shyly down to the side. Her hair was soft and shiny-looking, her fingernails had chipped black polish, and she was rocking the gothy makeup. Frank thought she was the most awesome, coolest, prettiest girl in school.

"Hey," he said softly.

She looked up at him. "Hi," she said, smiling a little.

"You, um -- you have something on your face," Frank said, raising his hand toward her face. She leaned toward him, and he leaned in too, and he could almost hear the sweet, sweet power chords of high school love building to a crescendo. Their lips almost met, and-- "Cut," Marc yelled. "Okay, that was pretty good, but next time I need to see your faces more, so cheat out towards me."

Frank opened his eyes. Gee's lips were _right there_ , and he wanted to kiss her more than anything.

Gee coughed and shifted back into her original position.

That near miss of a kiss of just ramped up Frank's yearning even more because he _hadn't_ kissed Gee in forever and he _did_ want her more than anything. He closed his eyes and turned out towards Marc a bit more, listening to Gee do the same. Once they were both settled, Marc called for action again and Frank opened his eyes to see the girl of his dreams sitting next to him.

"Hi."

She blinked as if startled. "Hi."

Damn, she was so pretty. Frank could feel himself coloring slightly. "You have something -- here, come here. There's something on your face."

"Oh!" She leaned in and Frank moved to meet her, hesitating just long enough to tip his chin up towards her when Mikey fell against him heavily, knocking Gee to the ground and nearly braining himself on the open locker door next to them. The jock actors laughed and slapped each other on the back before shuffling out of the shot.

"And cut! Perfect, you guys!" Marc clapped his hands a couple of times and all the production staff started scurrying around setting up for the next shot.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the day of shooting passed in an exhausting haze. Every time Frank thought he and Gee might get a minute alone together, someone came and fetched one of them for shooting, or make-up touch-ups, or talking to the film documentary crew. Brian carefully steered the documentary crew away from Gee -- there was no way in hell that she was up to talking onscreen without it being scripted.

Finally, finally, they were done.

Frank tried to maneuver himself into the seat next to Gee in the van on the way to the hotel, but somehow Mikey slid in between the two of them, then Brian pushed him back so he could talk to the driver.

Frank stopped just outside of the open van door and stared at where Gee was slumped in the corner surrounded by Mikey and Brian. Motherfucker.

Ray jostled him a little. "Get a move on, Frankie."

He grumbled a little and climbed into the back of the van, settling into his seat with a huff.

Even back at the hotel, Frank was Gee-blocked constantly. Brian whisked her off to an AA meeting almost immediately. Frank retreated to his hotel room and ate pizza sulkily while channelsurfing.

Ray knocked on the door. "Hey, Brian wanted to check if you could help out tonight."

Frank shrugged. "With what?"

"Brian wants to make sure that Gee is never left alone. We're going to split up the night between Brian, me, and you if you're willing."

Frank didn't even ask why Mikey wasn't on the rotation. Quite honestly, if they could have assigned babysitters to Mikey as well, it probably wouldn't have been a bad idea.

"Yeah, sure, no problem. Now?" Frank swung his feet off the bed, but stopped when Ray waved him off.

"Brian is going to take first shift, so if you don't mind splitting your sleep up, you could take second?"

Frank shrugged and slid back onto the mattress. He wanted to toss Brian out of Gee's room and barricade the two of them away from the world, but he was pretty sure no one but him would be down with that. "What time do I need to head over there?"

"Brian said around ten or so." Ray grabbed his bag and opened the door again. "I'm going to sleep in Mikey's room until two."

"Sweet dreams!" Frank chirped. Ray gave him a dubious look, but left without further comment. Frank sat down on the bed, bouncing cheerfully. Finally, he'd have a chance to spend time alone with Gee. He felt like it'd been years since they'd had real time alone.

Of course, that was because it actually had been. Frank felt his bubble of excitement deflate a little at the thought. When he thought about how long it had been since he'd seen Gee when she wasn't falling-down drunk, high, joined at the hip with fucking Bert, or all three...

Water under the bridge. Dwelling on this shit wasn't going to help anything. She was sober now, and she was going to stay sober. And if she fell off the wagon, they'd get her sober again, as many times as it took.

Just, God, he hoped this time it stuck.

It was just after seven, but Frank decided to try to get some sleep before heading over to Gee's room. He was fucking exhausted despite sitting around most of the day and, plus, sleeping would eat up a whole bunch of time he'd otherwise spend stressing out about seeing Gee alone.

He was such a fucking pussy. There was no reason for him to be all anxious about this; she'd looked so tired today, she'd probably be asleep the entire time.

Decision made, Frank turned off the TV and snuggled down into the bleachy-smelling sheets and took some deep breaths to relax enough to sleep.

Frank honestly hadn't thought he'd be able to fall asleep, but the next thing he knew, there was a knock at the door.

"Yeah?" Frank said, opening the door and blinking blearily.

Brian quirked an eyebrow at him. "Evening, napping beauty. You ready for your shift?"

"Yeah, yeah, no problem," Frank yawned, blinking rapidly to try to wake himself up.

Brian shook his head and stripped the slippery cover off the vacant bed before tossing Frank the keycard. "Here. It's room 316."

"Anything I need to know?" Frank stretched so hard he made himself dizzy before rolling to his feet.

"Not really. She's drawing right now and may or may not go to sleep tonight. She should at least try, though."

"Okay," Frank said, grabbing his iPod and a few magazines in case he needed to read to keep himself awake.

Frank was almost out the door when Brian said, "Frank," in his serious business tone.

"Yeah?" Frank asked, giving Brian his complete attention. When Brian used that tone, generally the shit was about to go down.

"I noticed how the two of you were today and I just wanted to warn you not to jump into anything. This isn't a good time for Gee to have any more emotional upheaval."

Frank's first response was to scowl and tell Brian to fuck off, but he made himself stop and think about it. "I've been in love with her since I was twenty, Brian. We've been together more or less since the band started. I know her, and I know that she's not good with being alone. I'd be fucking her up worse if I pushed her away now."

Brian nodded, like that was the answer he was looking for. "Good."

Frank made a face at him the second Brian turned around, but didn't bother to wait around to see if his psychic powers were working before bolting out the door.

Gee's door was three down from his, so it only took a few seconds to walk down there and knock as he fought with the electronic lock.

Fucking things never worked right.

Gee was huddled in a cocoon of blankets and pillows on the bed, an forest of coffee cups on the night table and her sketchbooks spread out around her. "Frank!"

"Hey, baby." He wanted to crawl into the bed and wrap himself around her, but she looked a little skittish, even though his casual endearment had erased a few of the shadows from her eyes.

"Hey. Is it your turn to babysit me?" Her mouth turned down a little at the thought of having to be watched over.

"You could think of it as babysitting... or you could think of it as having a slumber party."

She rolled her eyes. "A slumber party."

"Yeah. We'll watch horror movies and talk about boys. That Hugh Jackman, he is _so_ dreamy." Frank threw himself on the end of the bed and grinned up at her.

She cocked her head to the side. "Only if I get to give you a make-over. It's traditional."

Frank made a kissy face. "Beauty my ass up, sweetheart."

Gee giggled and started fighting her way out of her blanket fort. Once she was free, she flopped down next to him and hesitantly touched the curve of his cheek. "You're pretty enough already."

Frank stuck his tongue out at her to try to cover up the rush of blood he felt in his cheeks. Stupid face. "You're the pretty one."

Gee crossed her eyes and hesitantly scooted a couple of inches closer. "Shut up."

"You shut up." Frank wrapped his arm around her back and pulled her into the curve of his body.

Gee tensed for a second and then relaxed with a sigh, resting her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest. Her voice slightly muffled, she said, "I missed this."

Frank hugged her tightly with both arms, making her squeak a little. He loosened his grip so that she could breathe but kept his arms around her. "I missed you too, Gee. So much."

She sniffed, rubbing her face against his tee-shirt. "I don't even know what happened to the last two years. It's like I closed my eyes one day and the next time I opened them, everything sucked and I'd almost destroyed--" Her voice broke on a sob.

"Shhhh, I know, Gee, I know," Frank murmured, kissing her hair and petting her back as she cried. "It's okay, baby, it's gonna be all right."

It was a brief but violent crying jag. Frank's tee-shirt was damp with tears (and probably snot, not that he cared.) Gee settled down after a few minutes, gripping his tee-shirt with a tight fist and breathing in thick shudders. Her voice small and miserable, she said, "I fucked Bert."

Frank winced. "I know." He took a deep breath, forcing his feelings down. The last thing Gee needed right now was the kind of shouting match they'd get into if he wasn't careful here. Later, when Gee wasn't so fucked up, they'd talk about it. Whatever Frank had assumed about them, it wasn't like they'd ever made promises to one another -- hell, they had never even officially been a couple. But the fact that she chose Bert over him and then didn't tell Frank straight out, just let him find out from tour gossip? Yeah, that shit wasn't cool.

Keeping his voice calm, Frank said, "You were fucked up, Gee. Just, please don't ever sleep with Bert again. Hugh Jackman, okay, but not Bert." He wiggled his eyebrows lecherously.

Gee let out a shocked little giggle. "Hugh Jackman?"

Frank shrugged. "He's pretty fucking sexy. I'd do him, if I swung that way."

Gee shook her head against his chest. "I don't want to sleep with Hugh Jackman. Or Bert. Just you. Okay?"

Frank kissed her hair. "Okay."

They stayed like that long enough for Frank to feel exhaustion creep back up on him. Falling asleep like this, with Gee in his arms, was so much more than he'd had for what felt like forever, and he wanted to bask in it for as long as possible.

Just before he made the final slide into boneless relaxation, Gee shifted restlessly against him. She slid her hand up to his shoulder and propped her head on her hand. "Hey, Frank?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Frank smiled, not opening his eyes just in case he'd actually fallen asleep and was just dreaming this. "Yes, you can absolutely kiss me."

The first brush of Gee's lips against his was tentative and butterfly-soft. There was a brief pause, and then Gee's lips brushed against his again, a little bit firmer this time. Frank was fairly sure by now that he wasn't dreaming, but he kept his eyes closed for fear of scaring her off. He opened his mouth slightly the next time her lips met his, passively leaving himself open to her tongue.

Gee's tongue dipped inside his mouth, pushing slickly against his. Frank dared to slide his hands up along her waist, holding onto her gently and fighting the urge to flip her on her back and take control of the kiss.

His patience was rewarded when Gee made a desperate noise he completely recognized and straddled his lap. Frank smiled into the kiss and worked his fingers under the hem of her t-shirt to brush the soft skin of her sides.

She broke the kiss when she squeaked and jerked back. "No tickling!"

Frank giggled and poked at her sides one more time. "Sorry, sorry."

Gee just gave him a disgruntled look and pushed at the ragged edge of his shirt. "Can I?"

Frank raised his arms over his head in answer and let Gee tug the shirt off him. His hands immediately went to her shirt as soon as they were clear of fabric. She finished pulling it off when he couldn't reach far enough from his reclining position and collapsed down onto his chest. The stretched out cotton of her bra was soft against his skin, but Frank wanted it gone.

They were kissing again, slow relaxed kisses with a little hint of urgency behind them. Frank tugged at one of Gee's bra-straps. "Can I?" he murmured against her mouth. At her mumbled assent, he slid a hand behind her back and flicked the bra open one-handed.

Gee sat up to pull the bra the rest of the way off, and Frank's eyes were immediately caught by how her breasts tumbled out of the bra. His hands reacquainted themselves with them, weighing the soft heavy curve and rubbing his thumbs over her hard nipples.

Frank sat up enough to bury his face between her breasts. Gee's back arched as he nibbled his way to one nipple and then the other. "I missed your boobs," he mumbled into the soft, sweet-smelling space between her breasts.

"Mmmm." Gee tangled her fingers in his hair, holding him to her.

Even with her help, the position was uncomfortable enough for Frank to develop a crick in his neck. He twisted his hips, tipping Gee onto the bed and rolling on top of her.

"Okay?" Frank was propped on his hands over her.

Gee reached up to pull him down for another kiss, pushing her hips up into his. Frank dropped down onto his elbow and kissed her mouth, the curve of her cheek, the length of her throat.

He also used his free hand to get up-close and personal with her boobs again. He'd _really_ missed her boobs.

Gee's hands were restless on his back and shoulders, dropping down to squeeze his ass through his jeans. Frank pressed his teeth into the muscle of her shoulder and ground down into the vee of her legs.

Gee moaned and clutched his ass, writhing up against his dick, so Frank did it again, and again, and Jesus if he didn't stop this right now he was going to come in his jeans like a teenager. He pulled away a little, balancing on one elbow as he got his free hand down to the zipper of her jeans.

"Yeah, yes," Gee panted, squirming enough to make it difficult to get her jeans open. Frank dropped a leg across her thighs to hold her steady as he worked on her zipper. Gee moaned at that, and Frank had a sudden intense flash of the way she used to moan when he held her wrists down as he fucked her. Groaning, Frank bit the side of her neck on that spot below her ear, where it always made her crazy.

Gee made a high, soft noise as he bit her neck, her head falling to the side in surrender. Frank finally got her jeans open and slid his hand into her panties, finding her hot and slick under his searching fingers. "Fuck, Gee," he moaned.

"Please, please." Gee pushed at the waist of her jeans, getting them down past her ass, then kicking out of them.

Frank used the hand he had in her panties to push them down to join her jeans on the floor. His hand went right back to what it had been doing and Gee let her legs fall open, moving with the press and rub of his fingers.

Frank slid two fingers into the hot, slick opening of her cunt and used his thumb on her clit in the way that he knew drove her insane. He never understood why some people thought being with the same person for years and years was a bad thing -- knowing exactly the right pressure on her g-spot that it took to get Gee's hands clutching his ass almost hard enough to bruise was _awesome_.

"Yeah, that's it, come on, almost there," Frank murmured, feeling Gee's inner walls tighten around his fingers. She tossed her head from side to side, moaning and biting her lower lip. She stopped breathing for a moment and then let out a long, loud groan as her cunt pulsed around Frank's fingers.

She collapsed back against bed, twitching against his hand and shaking a little as he nuzzled her throat.

"You okay?"

She made a low humming sound and stretched under him before pushing him onto his back and flopping down on top of him. "Why do you still have pants on?"

Frank wiped his hand on the sheets and ran his other hand up her back to tangle in the mess of her hair. "I was a little busy getting you off."

"Hmph." Gee blew a raspberry on his chest. "I'm just going to fix that, then."

"Please," Frank said, "be my guest."

She laughed against his skin and pushed herself upright before sliding back far enough get to the fly of his jeans. The worn denim opened without much fight and she somehow managed to wrestle them down without getting off him.

Frank breathed a sigh of relief at being freed from his jeans, which had been threatening to do some permanent damage to Frankenstein Junior.

Gee rubbed her fingers across the head of his cock through the soft fabric of his briefs. Frank hissed a little at the feel of her thumb rubbing the precome that was seeping from his cock around on the obvious wet spot on the fabric.

"Tease," he said, smiling so she'd know he was joking.

Gee looked up at him, mischief in her eyes, and stuck her tongue out at him. "I think we both know who's the big tease in this bed," she said as she pulled his briefs down. Frank kicked them the rest of the way off his legs. Gee smiled wickedly as she leaned over him, her fingers gently scratching along his treasure trail.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Frank pushed his pelvis up, trying to urge her fingers a little lower, and she grabbed his hip and shoved him back down to the bed. Frank couldn't help the noise he made at that. He sort of loved it when she manhandled him a little.

"Uh uh. None of that now." Gee smirked and dug her fingers into the muscle of his leg. "I know what I'm doing."

"Believe me, I know that." Frank knew his voice was bordering on rapturous, but Gee knew exactly how to make him beg.

She leaned forward slowly, meeting his eyes the entire time, then dipped her head down until the ends of her long hair trailed across the head of his cock. The sensation was more ticklish than anything, but the visual was fucking _inspiring_.

Leaning down further, she blew a stream of cold air across his overheated skin. She opened her mouth as she leaned even closer, puffing hot breath over the head of his cock. Frank tensed up as he anticipated her next move, then moaned in frustration as instead of putting her mouth where it would do the most good, she detoured to kiss his thighs instead.

He hissed in a breath as she bit sharply at his inner thigh, near his balls, and then soothed the bite with her tongue. Jesus fuck, she was going to get him back for that "tease" comment, wasn't she?

He must have said that out loud, because Gee made a huffing laugh and licked up the crease of his leg to bite at the sharp point of his pelvis. "Are you scared, baby?"

"Hell yes." His response was automatic. Gee didn't often take part in the prank wars that inevitably happened on tour, but when she did, shit got serious pretty damn fast.

Her smile did not inspire relaxation. "Good."

She shifted over just enough to lick up the length of his cock.

Proving that Frank had been right to be worried, she followed up that one, glorious lick by nibbling her way up his stomach to his nipples. Which left Frank all conflicted, because while he did love having his nipples licked and sucked and nibbled, he also really, really, really wanted her mouth back on his cock.

Frank whined soundlessly at a particularly fierce nibble-bite combination. Gee smiled up at him, absently playing with his balls with the hand she wasn't using to support herself. "Something you want?"

"Gee, fuck, _Gee_ ," Frank gasped.

"Use your words," she chided.

"Your _mouth_ , Gee, please for the love of fuck put it back on my cock."

Beaming cheerfully, she said, "All you had to do was ask nicely." Gee moved back down, slid a hand between his dick and his belly, and pulled him into her mouth.

"Oh, fuck, yes!" Frank curled half-way up to sitting at the first strong pull of her mouth. He collapsed back down when the muscles of his stomach gave out and could only blink at the stained ceiling for a minute.

She did that thing with her tongue and Frank's leg spasmed, kicking out and nearly catching the edge of the night table. "Jesus _fuck_ , Gee. Your mouth."

She swallowed around him and not being able to see her was suddenly the stupidest thing in the whole entire world. Frank managed to wedge one of his elbows under himself and he twisted his free hand in her hair until most of it was caught in a messy knot in his fist.

Gee looked up at him, her eyes glinting in the indirect light of the bedside lamp. Pulling back, she put a hand around the base of his dick to hold it in place as she rubbed the head of his cock over her lips in a move straight out of a porn movie. She traced the flaring edge with her tongue and then lashed her tongue against the sweet spot until Frank was making noises he'd probably be embarrassed about later.

Frank collapsed back down off his elbow as she apparently decided teasing time was over and sucked him in with enough pressure to suck the chrome right off a tailpipe. Panting, Frank clutched the bedspread in one hand while he tried not to pull her hair too hard with the other.

Gee sucked him until his eyes were rolling back in his head with the pleasure. He was close, so close, and then she paired pressing her knuckles under his balls with a particularly vicious suck and that was it, game over, fireworks sparkling in his vision as he came like a volcano.

All he could feel was throb of his pulse in his veins as he struggled to breathe. He coughed a couple of times and swore, again, that he was going to quit smoking so much, dammit.

Gee's head was resting on his hip, his hand still caught up in her hair. He carefully worked himself free and pulled at her shoulder until she crawled up his body.

He smeared a messy kiss over her mouth and half of her chin before giving up and melting back into the bed. "I hope you weren't expecting me to fuck you tonight, because that is just not going to happen."

"You sure about that?" Gee scratched her nails through his hair, running her fingers down behind his ear and over the thin skin of his collarbone.

"Pretty sure?" Frank didn't mean for that to come out as a question because he wasn't actually a teenager anymore, but he could feel his body trying to get back in the game.

It was almost painful.

She chuckled and kissed him softly on the lips, the way he'd missed so much. No tongue, just gentle kisses that slowed to an easy stop. Gee sighed happily, shifting down and resting her head on his shoulder.

Stroking his hand along Gee's side, Frank mumbled into her hair, "Missed you."

"I missed you, too." Gee turned her face into his skin for a second. "So much."

They snuggled like that until the chill from the air conditioner had goosebumps chasing over every bit of skin that wasn't touching.

"Hey, Gee." Frank brushed some pieces of hair away from her face. "We should get under the covers."

Gee started awake from her doze and jerked back from Frank, looking frantically around the room before dropping back down to burrow into his side. "Not a dream?"

Frank wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair. "Nope. Not a dream. Definitely, one hundred percent real. But now in danger of freezing to death. C'mon, under the covers."

"Don't wanna move," she said stubbornly, then shivered.

"And I don't want to explain how we both ended up hypothermic to Brian," Frank said.

Apparently the thought of explaining that to Brian was pretty horrifying to Gee too, as she moved even faster than Frank in diving into her blanket-and-pillow nest.

He surveyed the bedding structure for a moment before finding a probable entry point and wiggling in next to her. He settled in with a sigh at the warmth already filtering through the cocoon.

"Shit." Gee's voice was muffled by the fold of sheet over her face.

"What?" Frank turned on his side and pulled the covers down to see her eyes.

"Someone has to turn off the lights." Even though her mouth was still hidden by the covers, Frank _knew_ she was pouting at him.

"Someone?" Even as he said it, he started preparing himself for the chilly air.

"Someone named Frank?"

He sighed and lowered his head for a second before scooting out of bed and turning off all the lights except for the one in the bathroom. When he got back into bed, he put his cold feet on her legs in revenge.

Gee shrieked and giggled, jerking her legs away and poking him in the side where he was most ticklish. Frank was just about to start tickling her back when he had a sudden realization. "Shit."

"What?"

"I gotta call Ray, or else in a few minutes he's going to be knocking on your door."

"Babysitting duties?" She sounded a lot less bitter about that than she had earlier.

Frank nodded. "Yup." Where the hell was his phone? Oh, in the pocket of his jeans, which were lying on the floor just close enough that he could probably grab them without falling out of bed.

He was right about where his phone was, but wrong about being able to grab it without falling out of bed. Gee peeked over the edge of the bed, staring down at him worriedly. "You all right?"

Frank shrugged and tried to pretend he'd totally intended to do that. He was about to start dialing his phone when he realized that a text message would be _so_ much less awkward, for everyone involved. Well, maybe not for Ray.

***

Ray heard his phone vibrate as he raised his hand to knock on Gee's door. Flipping his phone open, he read:

 _DON'T WORRY ABOUT GEE 2NITE. WE ARE HAVING SEXYTIEMS AND YOU ARE NOT INVITED SORRY. XOXOXO FRANKENSTEIN_

Mouth dropping open, Ray looked at his phone, looked up at the door, looked at his phone again, flipped the phone closed, and carefully tip-toed away.

THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> written for bandombigbang


End file.
